Week what I believe is 15 is done.
I can't tell if that's some sort of substantial amount of time to kind of be like whoa I've been here for a while already or it's still next to nothing, probably the latter. I suppose if you do the math I'm about a sixth of the way done haha! But I'm not thinking like that. Some days you are just in a bad mood and not anything can really pull you out of feeling alone and discouraged in ways, but all of those experiences are the best ways to show the Lord your faith for him, the day to day.
One day this week was probably the worst one I had in the mission and it was for no reason other than me being impatient and easily irritable. I spent the night with other missionaries who's house was disgusting and they were too and having no choice but to wallow in filth already makes me angry. And by now I just was angry and couldn't let the spirit work in me haha so literally everything ticked me off, we went to go play soccer in the morning for our workout time and all I could think was what a WASTE of time, we could be out looking for souls to save and I'm were doing this! I then did the math for how long a mission would be if we frontloaded all of the work and didn't leave anytime for distractions and still accumulated the same hours of service and teaching a missionary does in two years. If that was the case I'd be gone away from family for less than a year, and I was thinking about how I could bring this come into fruition like how I could get into contact with President Nelson haha. But the more I pondered I realized that everything and every single second I spend here is one in sacrifice for the lord, not just the ones on the streets, especially those moments that I feel like I could be spending in any other way. Sometimes there's no way to get us out of our pit of thinking, we just have to be doing what we know the lord wants us to be doing and lean on that faith, and the Lord wants me here .
The highlight of this week for me was teaching Spanish. We got 3 kids of like age 8 to come to our English class, all of them shy and scared to answer questions. I went about thinking how I would begin teaching Spanish to such young kids, and my comp as well because he's wanting to learn English too haha so it's just me.
I told them their names in English and how to present themselves. Like, hi, I'm Elizabeth. And then I taught them to say, I am a child of God. And the goal was to get them to be able to say this whole sentence in English.
Hello, I'm Elizabeth (or their name and I'm a child of God.
All of them with their broken English and struggling to stumble through the words eventually were able to write it all down and say the sentence. At the end of the class, i told them that it was true, and did they know they had a father all the way in heaven? Such a fact just about blew their little minds. And I told all of them that he loves them.
I looked one of them in the eyes and said, your Heavenly Father loves you, and he's your dad, and he knows your name. And I pointed right and him.
This kid especially was really shy, too afraid to say basically anything I asked him to repeat, but after that, he had the biggest smile on his face, and seemingly was filled with the greatest confidence. And everytime I've seen him since interacting with anyone he has the same little confidence. I taught them how to say a simple prayer, and told them that Heavenly Father wants them to talk to him. We'll see if they work up the courage to do so. Such an opportunity warmed my heart, and makes me cry just writing it. Because I could feel the love Heavenly Father had for these little innocent kids, and to think he loves us the same way. I hope we never forget we are children of God, and he loves us perfectly.
During our district council this week I was asked to read the following verses for everyone in Alma 26
36 Now if this is boasting, even so will I boast; for this is my life and my light, my joy and my salvation, and my redemption from everlasting wo. Yea, blessed is the name of my God, who has been mindful of this people, who are a branch of the tree of Israel, and has been lost from its body in a strange land; yea, I say, blessed be the name of my God, who has been mindful of us, wanderers in a strange land.
37 Now my brethren, we see that God is mindful of every people, whatsoever land they may be in; yea, he numbereth his people, and his bowels of mercy are over all the earth. Now this is my joy, and my great thanksgiving; yea, and I will give thanks unto my God forever. Amen.
I had read these verses many times before, I've read the missionary accounts in Alma numerous times. I had read those exact words before. But for some reason when I read those words out loud this week, I was overcome with the spirit. I began to sob, I could barely finish the words I was reading. The Lord is mindful of us, wanderers in a strange land. That phrase hit my heart, and I felt so much love from our Heavenly Father. It's tough being here sometimes, I feel like a wanderer in a strange land. But he's here. And the last verse is for all of us. He is mindful of ALL people, no matter where they live. He loves YOU. We are all children of him, the Most high God. He is mindful of every situation you are in, and wants to and will help you in every way he's allowed to. I can't imagine how hard it is for him to have to sit back sometimes and let us go through pain and hurt, when he wants to send us a comfort or a feeling of peace but he is restrained. Because it demeans the point of why we're here. Please, for the sake of your father in heaven, look to him in your trials and in everything you do. Because he wants to be there, and he is restrained. Invite him into your life and give him the peace of knowing you know that he is there. Because I can't imagine the pain he feels when his children feel as though he's forgotten them, when he is doing and has done all he can do, and just wants them to grow. And for that to happen he has to be far enough away. He loves us as he loves the children.
I feel like I have so much to tell that is funnker and lighthearted, but I suppose I'll have to wait for later emails as this one is quite long. Thank you everyone that reads these and supports me. Who write back and cheers me on. I feel so loved and blessed. Let us all remember the lord in our lives this week, I hope you all too when you kneel to pray talk to him like he's your father, and allow him to be in this life he has given you, because the only way to make the most of it is to allow him mold us and let him finish the gift he has given of us life! You could probably think of quite the analogy to go along with this, ill think on it. Hes not done making it, you just have to allow him to make more out of it than you ever could and be patient while he does so. Nothing else is of more importance
I love you all!
-eb
